Whether it is encouraged by society or an innate human drive, most people want to achieve some level success. Success in the workplace, in romantics relationships, in making a difference, in family and friendships. Maybe our need for success is a desire for a feeling of accomplishment. Or maybe we just want to feel useful — to feel like we matter. Regardless of where the need comes from, we can agree there are different levels of success as well as different perspectives to what qualifies as success.
Too many times we get so caught up with trying to please them (whoever they are for you) that we lose track of our values and what we deem important. One healthy thing I suggest you do is stop listening to what everyone else deems as success and determine what it is you believe success means to you. Once you have determined this truth within yourself, aim to fulfill YOUR definition of success. If you do this, I guarantee you will be happier not only after you achieve it, but also during the process.
Now the cousin of success that seems to get a lot of hate is failure. No one truly likes to fail or to feel incompetent. However, if you ask an motivational coach, philosopher, or mentor they will tell you that failure is success in disguise. With failure comes learning, experience, and evolution. You may have even heard the saying that “The only way one can truly fail is if they don’t try.” There is a lot of truth to that. In my opinion, the difference between success and failure is effort. Most times, if you compare something that was successful versus something that failed, the difference maker will usually be effort.
One of my mentors once told me, “The only difference between someone who achieves their dreams versus someone who doesn’t, is the former never stopped trying.” You have to put in effort for the things you want. At the end of each day ask yourself, “What have I done to progress towards my goals today?” Little by little you will find places for improvement and begin reshaping your focus throughout your day. After a while, you will also see more clearly how far you have come when you hold yourself to a high level of accountability. If you are not sure if you can do that for yourself, get someone close to you to hold you accountable. Have them ask you every night what you did that day to progress towards your goals. It doesn’t matter how much you did nearly as much as that you did something. Give your best effort, formulate a plan of action, and success will find its way to you.